It's All About Me - Right?

Call this a vanity page, an ego page, a selfishness page or whatever you choose, but all things are always about me in my own little world.  After all, isn't that the purpose in creating a blog, to indulge one's self?

So, now that we have determined I am actually a very self-centered person who likes to talk about herself, we'll get down to business - me!

I was born on April 19 in the year 1951 so that makes me an Aries, the baby of the astrological signs.  I am also a baby boomer.  When I was in high school the war in Vietnam was still going on, Nixon was president, the Beatles had been around a couple of years and were hotter than ever, hippies were the ones I wanted to follow and hallucinogenics, free love, and smoking pot were in style.  We listened to vinyl records on a record player, watched the first men walk on the moon on a black and white television and family dinners were gatherings each night at the same time with all my brothers and sister sitting at the dinner table with my parents. So, yeah, I am getting on up there in years and have seen quite a bit in my life thus far and am proud of the parts of history I was able to experience.


Being the daydreamer that I am has really encroached upon my realistic expectations and goals set by myself.  Not only am I afflicted with this trait, but I have suffered from recurring bouts of depression since childhood and about 5 years ago was diagnosed with being bi-polar.  Add my OCD tendencies to that and WHAM, you have a very strung out person at times.  Not to mention my Aries tendency of being stubborn and intelligent to boot, the decision to work through the bi-polar disorder without medications (with my doctor's approval, of course) was made.  I might add here that I do have times when I really, really wish I had some meds to help me through those bouts of deep welled feelings of sadness.  However, because of my addictive tendencies (thank you very much to my natural mother's side of the family), I choose to not take them.


So now that I have opened up with some of the worst things about myself, here are some good things.  I have one grown son who has 3 children and he is the best thing to have happened to me in my entire life.  Without him I have no idea how I could have survived some of the events in my past lives.  I say past lives because I feel that every major event makes life altering changes in one's life and I feel we become different because of those changes.  He is married to an adorable, intelligent, and normal woman who is the mother of my grand-babies and also who I admire and respect very much. 


I have always been a hard worker and have great perseverance even when I feel very down. I am a self-taught artist and in 1998 I began teaching myself how to use a computer which led to me learning website design and web graphic creations.  Through the years of working full time it was always a dream of mine to be able to work from home doing nothing but my art and crafts.  Well, all I can say about that is, be careful what you wish for coz you just might get it.  After several years with one company's employment, they closed their doors and moved to another state and none of us were invited, so there we all were with no job.  With my husband, a joint decision was made for me to actually begin fulfilling my dream now.  


The main problem with myself right now is that I am depressed because I am struggling with how to stay motivated to create.  I have been reading some good material on motivation and thinking positive but the feelings just aren't stirring yet so I started this blog to "get it out" of my system.  My apologies for the long ranting but as I explained, that is the entire purpose of writing this.  I am not in it to make money, I am just doing it to write and possibly discover things about myself that will help me along the way.  Not that anyone will actually read it, but you never know...